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10 ideas for the new Rogers Bank

07 Sep

Word emerged over the weekend that Rogers Communications, Canada’s biggest cable and wireless provider, is looking to start up a bank. The company doesn’t seem to be saying much on the matter, leaving people to speculate.

In that vein, here are 10 potential features of Rogers Bank (or Banque Rogers for those in Quebec). All in good fun, of course:

10. Contract banking: If you want an account, you have to agree to have it for a period of two or three years. In exchange, you get a discount on any cheques you order. Leaving early means you forfeit all your money.

9. Bank access fee: A monthly charge that is deducted from your balance, simply for the very privilege of using the bank. When customers complain, this will be changed to “regulatory recovery fee” that will ostensibly be used to cover the cost of meeting various banking regulations.

8. Account throttling: Rogers will reserve the right to manage how accounts are used in order to prevent their branches from becoming overcrowded and their ATMs from getting overused. Deposits will be unlimited, but customers will have to pay different amounts depending on how many withdrawals they want to do per month.

7. Usage-based billing: Customers will be charged a fee for every transaction above their monthly allotment. Oh, wait a minute… most Canadian banks already do this…

6. Paper fee: A $2 charge will be applied anytime a customer withdraws paper money.

5. Negative option banking: All Rogers’ existing TV, wireless and internet customers automatically get accounts opened for them, with all associated fees being deducted monthly. If you don’t want an account, you have to phone them up and tell them so.

4. Flanker banks: Soon after opening up the Rogers Bank, the company will also launch a slightly lower-cost Fido Bank. When competition proves to be too much, the even lower-cost Chatr Bank will spring up. Still, none will provide as much value as PC Financial.

3. Telus and Bell banks: In that vein, Telus and Bell will soon open banks too. Monkey see, monkey do and all that.

2. Non-compete clause: In the likelihood that Shaw also starts a bank, the two companies will agree not to open branches on each others’ turf. Shaw will eventually violate the agreement and then, when accused of backstabbing by Rogers, innocently say that such a deal – if it ever existed – would have been illegal.

1. Sign-up gift: Every new account gets a complimentary subscription to Chatelaine!

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9 Comments

Posted by on September 7, 2011 in rogers

 

9 responses to “10 ideas for the new Rogers Bank

  1. hfiguiere

    September 7, 2011 at 12:08 am

    For 7. – usage based billing, I suggest the following:

    You have a 500$ maximum withdrawal. This includes paying bills but Rogers’. If you go over, you pay 2.50$ per dollar in excess.

     
  2. randifer

    September 7, 2011 at 12:13 am

    Dude, take this down quick!!! If any other Canadian banks see it there are at least two points here that they have not thought up and used yet… Don’t give them ANY ammunition!

     
  3. Jeff Power

    September 7, 2011 at 12:18 am

    With every new account you get 1 GB of Data!

     
  4. Jean-François Mezei

    September 7, 2011 at 1:00 am

    You forget that Rogers will charge an extra fee if you pay you cable/internet/mobile bills from another bank, and give your a “bundle rebate” if you bank with them and pay your Roger bill via Rogers’ bank.

    Seriously though, it all depends on how payments via mobile phones get developped. If Rogers wants to extrract too much in fees fro those, they will flop as peple will just stick with cash/interac/credit card. But if it takes off and Rogers steals business from the real banks, the later will not stay still.

     
  5. Marc Venot

    September 7, 2011 at 2:21 am

    Since Rogers go on the bank turf those mighty establishments could be tempted to return the favor and bingo we have bloody competition among telcos.

     
  6. Chris

    September 7, 2011 at 8:22 am

    Ferociously funny, but unfortunately true and even worse when it comes to banks, not only #7. In fact:

    #9: Who doesn’t have monthly banking fees? I certainly do, otherwise I would have to pay UBB on every transaction. No kidding!

    #8: You are always welcome to deposit money. Just you try to take it out all at once and see how difficult it can be!

    #1: Banks also have sign-up incentives. Never heard of ‘Reward Points’ and the useless products you can select from their catalogs?

     
    • Anon

      September 16, 2011 at 10:20 am

      I don’t pay any monthly banking fees. I absolutely refuse to. As long as I keep my minimum balance (which they keep raising) I have no fees. BoM tried to make me change my original savings account that my parents opened back in the 70’s to some fee based account. Bam. Closed the account next day.

       
  7. cleezo

    September 20, 2011 at 4:40 pm

    you get a late fee if you deposit your paycheck a day late. “Hey we were counting on the money yesterday”

     
  8. randifer

    September 20, 2011 at 11:00 pm

    Since bank accounts currently pay virtually no interest these days, why not just have your money deposited directly to your credit cards. Especially those that have affinity programs.

    If you’ve got investment accounts, you can fund them from the card. Pay your groceries, your rent / mortgage, fuel, everythign from the card with no worries about interest.

    You need a credit card anyway, if you run a positive balance, they won’t pay you interest, but the money is protected, and you can make cash withdrawls, and there are a bunch of the cards that have NO FEES!

    Maybe a little bit of that would have the banks giving you a fee for the account instead of the other way around!

     
 
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